We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Even When I'm Sick

by Good Hope Vanilla

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Play Kate 05:34
"i like you i like you i know theres badness too but i like you theres a big difference between being a bad person nd being a good person thats done bad things its a subtle shift in thinking but it might be one of the most important shifts theres a big difference between being a bad person nd being a good person thats done bad things i spent a lot of time in my life with the belief that i was defective in some way that there was a quality inside me that made me unfit or unworthy even rotten nd if i screwed up nd faced anger or disappointment i used it as justification for that belief it was almost like returning home nd if things were going well something would nag at me nd remind me that a reckoning was coming that id be ratted out as unfit unworthy even rotten its weird i used to have these dreams where i killed someone nd i was about to get caught nd i was terrified but it also sort of felt right it felt right nd that part of me is a darkness its a secret why would you want to tell someone that you were unfit unworthy even rotten nd it grows in secrecy nd it claims territory nd it adds a but to all of yr accomplishments nd gifts i did that but they like me but it says remember in the end the only thing you can count on is me because i know youre unfit unworthy even rotten it gets angry easily it hears blame in peoples voices when there isnt blame it equates disappointment with disgust it measures friendship nd love by what can be taken away nd not by what is there nd that is what shame feels like shame is that secret belief that youre unfit unworthy even rotten" say everything i had take you somewhere to fix yr fragile mouth cant hate you all enough you had it right once again i want to shake to break yr little hands doesnt mean much in the end you pray for remorse you try nd find a way out you try but its too way out i love you halfway now you pray for remorse as you try nd find a way out you try but its too way out i love you halfway now you pay for remorse you try nd find a way out you try but its yr way out i love you halfway now i pay for you more as you try nd find a waiter you try but its too way out i love you halfway now
2.
How Come On 03:19
everything you said wed done but nothings been enough pray to pay for my wrongs screaming to be heard forced you said its all on me be happy again nd stick to what i told you babe no matter what you win keep me with yr things make it easier for me how come its me whos always wrong come on in you wish you wont why cant you be someone else enoughs been enough nd stick to what i told you man youre halfway always in keep me with yr things make it easier for me how come its me whos always wrong come on in you wish you wont
3.
crease me off center already feeling better why do i question you probably dont remember i could spend my silence figuring me out let go at the bottom like theres nothing on yr mouth with all yr sweetness i carry you on my back smile so hard it hurts i think i want it worse i could spend my silence figuring me out let go at the bottom like theres nothing on yr mouth my hands are red from holding nothing so tight all my problems are a pattern were succinct then we die halfway were halfway i was halfway in nd i fell out nd i fell out its funny how thats just the way its always been you say real is good as if its pretend nd ill stick to it ill stick to it keep it all in nd ill turn my hands against the littles ones of course youre more than the world as soon as things start going well youre no effort to my eyes the i love yous with half yr mind so i just wait patient in line time moves so slow when youre not mine youre not mine if i put my mind to it im sure i could at least cope but its already happened its already done no its not looking hopeful i could spend my silence figuring me out let go at the bottom like theres nothing on yr mouth halfway were halfway i was halfway in nd i fell out nd i fell out its funny how thats just the way its always been you say real is good as if its pretend nd ill stick to it ill stick to it keep it all in nd ill turn my hands against the littles ones of course youre more than the world as soon as things start going well youre no effort to my eyes the i love yous with half yr mind so i just wait patient in line time moves so slow when youre not mine
4.
Paraffin 05:09
i create god as i see you wet yr bed nd bit my toy nd now when i eat the apple yr nose is all i need when you sign our names in gasoline he dont need fire wish you all enough theres a reason i am blind that was the last time that i saw tie me up cantaloupe youre tied up tall when i fuck you stick to yr stomach you took too much now youre back inside our head again wish you all enough now take all my time nd keep it in hindsight ive never felt it quite like you can reverse it youve worn out my teeth theyre all here to see you see nd when i write i get four stars you cant wrestle me sweetie pie i took you out paraffin i wont write you so soon wish you all enough now take all my time nd keep it in hindsight ive never felt it quite like you can reverse it youve worn out my teeth theyre all here to see you see thought it was such a good idea to get closer to the blame but for what but for what whens enough enough enough "nd i need my money too for real"
5.
what youve seen is not the answer you prayed for in yr youth this sleepless dissertation now occupies the true life is not yr metaphor you realise too much too late all you do to pass the time is watch the clock nd wait happy birthday thats enough im yr father toughen up whats yr name go to sleep happy birthday thats enough im yr father toughen up whats yr name go to sleep its my birthday am i enough wheres my father out for a walk with all his money (whats yr name) where have i been (i fell asleep) its time you find yourself (its not the answer) ill take all i pray for hide (this sleepless dissertation now occupies the true) my father feared everything (at least thats enough)
6.
say everything i have take you somewhere to fix yr fragile mouth i cant hate you all enough i had it right once again i want to shake to break yr little hands it doesnt mean much in the end act like were on again nothing you say will get me there i cant hate you in the end well all i need is what i have i focus on everything i could have been be happier again take all you need from me pace as you wait im trapped under low people ill never be known my memorys cloudy of what i know be happier for me its all i need halfway out you know that youre hanging by a thread its me why dont you just pull its hollow wallet out my head is getting lighter as it goes nd ill show you that youre cold take all you need from me pace as you wait im trapped under low people ill never be known my memorys cloudy of what i know be happier for me its all i need youve been a bed for me i cant walk but i know that i am healed youve been a bed for me i cant walk but i know that i am healed youve been a bed for me i cant walk but i know that i am healed forget yourself nd show me you can be

about

This was the product of a lot of patience.

credits

released August 26, 2016

James Roy Sullivan - instruments, vocals
Spencer Jacob Holmes - instruments, vocals

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Good Hope Vanilla Northborough, Massachusetts

Good Hope Vanilla is an indie rock-dressed, post-hardcore / shoegazing attempt from central Massachusetts.

contact / help

Contact Good Hope Vanilla

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

Good Hope Vanilla recommends:

If you like Good Hope Vanilla, you may also like: