Even When I'm Sick

by Good Hope Vanilla

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1.
05:34
2.
03:19
3.
4.
05:09
5.
6.

about

This was the product of a lot of patience.

credits

released August 26, 2016

James Roy Sullivan - instruments, vocals
Nicholas Donovan Libby - instruments, vocals
Spencer Jacob Holmes - instruments, vocals

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all rights reserved

about

Good Hope Vanilla Northborough, Massachusetts

Good Hope Vanilla is an indie rock-dressed, post-hardcore / shoegazing attempt from central Massachusetts.

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Track Name: Play Kate
"i like you i like you i know theres badness too but i like you theres a big difference between being a bad person nd being a good person thats done bad things its a subtle shift in thinking but it might be one of the most important shifts theres a big difference between being a bad person nd being a good person thats done bad things i spent a lot of time in my life with the belief that i was defective in some way that there was a quality inside me that made me unfit or unworthy even rotten nd if i screwed up nd faced anger or disappointment i used it as justification for that belief it was almost like returning home nd if things were going well something would nag at me nd remind me that a reckoning was coming that id be ratted out as unfit unworthy even rotten its weird i used to have these dreams where i killed someone nd i was about to get caught nd i was terrified but it also sort of felt right it felt right nd that part of me is a darkness its a secret why would you want to tell someone that you were unfit unworthy even rotten nd it grows in secrecy nd it claims territory nd it adds a but to all of yr accomplishments nd gifts i did that but they like me but it says remember in the end the only thing you can count on is me because i know youre unfit unworthy even rotten it gets angry easily it hears blame in peoples voices when there isnt blame it equates disappointment with disgust it measures friendship nd love by what can be taken away nd not by what is there nd that is what shame feels like shame is that secret belief that youre unfit unworthy even rotten"

say everything i had
take you somewhere to fix yr fragile mouth
cant hate you all enough
you had it right once again
i want to shake to break yr little hands
doesnt mean much in the end
you pray for remorse
you try nd find a way out
you try
but its too way out
i love you halfway now
you pray for remorse as you try nd find a way out
you try
but its too way out
i love you halfway now
you pay for remorse
you try nd find a way out
you try
but its yr way out
i love you halfway now
i pay for you more as you try nd find a waiter
you try
but its too way out
i love you halfway now
Track Name: How Come On
everything you said wed done
but nothings been enough
pray to pay for my wrongs
screaming to be heard
forced
you said its all on me
be happy again
nd stick to what i told you
babe
no matter what you win
keep me with yr things
make it easier for me
how come its me whos always wrong
come on in
you wish
you wont
why cant you be someone else
enoughs been enough
nd stick to what i told you
man
youre halfway always in
keep me with yr things
make it easier for me
how come its me whos always wrong
come on in
you wish
you wont
Track Name: Halfway People
crease me off center
already feeling better
why do i question
you probably dont remember
i could spend my silence figuring me out
let go at the bottom like theres nothing on yr mouth
with all yr sweetness
i carry you on my back
smile so hard it hurts
i think i want it worse
i could spend my silence figuring me out
let go at the bottom like theres nothing on yr mouth
my hands are red from holding nothing so tight
all my problems are a pattern
were succinct
then we die
halfway
were halfway
i was halfway in
nd i fell out
nd i fell out
its funny how thats just the way its always been
you say real is good as if its pretend
nd ill stick to it
ill stick to it
keep it all in
nd ill turn my hands against the littles ones
of course youre more than the world
as soon as things start going well
youre no effort to my eyes
the i love yous with half yr mind
so i just wait patient in line
time moves so slow when youre not mine
youre not mine
if i put my mind to it
im sure i could at least cope
but its already happened
its already done
no
its not looking hopeful
i could spend my silence figuring me out
let go at the bottom like theres nothing on yr mouth
halfway
were halfway
i was halfway in
nd i fell out
nd i fell out
its funny how thats just the way its always been
you say real is good as if its pretend
nd ill stick to it
ill stick to it
keep it all in
nd ill turn my hands against the littles ones
of course youre more than the world
as soon as things start going well
youre no effort to my eyes
the i love yous with half yr mind
so i just wait patient in line
time moves so slow when youre not mine
Track Name: Paraffin
i create god as i see
you wet yr bed nd bit my toy
nd now when i eat the apple
yr nose is all i need
when you sign our names in gasoline
he dont need fire
wish you all enough
theres a reason i am blind
that was the last time that i saw
tie me up
cantaloupe
youre tied up tall when i fuck you
stick to yr stomach
you took too much
now youre back inside our head again
wish you all enough
now
take all my time nd keep it in hindsight
ive never felt it quite like
you can reverse it
youve worn out my teeth
theyre all here to see you
see
nd when i write
i get four stars
you cant wrestle me
sweetie pie
i took you out
paraffin
i wont write you so soon
wish you all enough
now
take all my time nd keep it in hindsight
ive never felt it quite like
you can reverse it
youve worn out my teeth
theyre all here to see you
see
thought it was such a good idea to get closer to the blame
but for what
but for what
whens enough
enough
enough
"nd i need my money too for real"
Track Name: Either Way You Win
what youve seen is not the answer you prayed for in yr youth
this sleepless dissertation now occupies the true
life is not yr metaphor
you realise too much
too late
all you do to pass the time is watch the clock nd wait
happy birthday
thats enough
im yr father
toughen up
whats yr name
go to sleep
happy birthday
thats enough
im yr father
toughen up
whats yr name
go to sleep
its my birthday
am i enough
wheres my father
out for a walk
with all his money
(whats yr name)
where have i been
(i fell asleep)
its time you find yourself
(its not the answer)
ill take all i pray for
hide
(this sleepless dissertation now occupies the true)
my father feared everything
(at least thats enough)
Track Name: Be Happy for Me
say everything i have
take you somewhere to fix yr fragile mouth
i cant hate you all enough
i had it right once again
i want to shake to break yr little hands
it doesnt mean much in the end
act like were on again
nothing you say will get me there
i cant hate you in the end
well
all i need is what i have
i focus on everything i could have been
be happier again
take all you need from me
pace as you wait
im trapped under low people
ill never be known
my memorys cloudy of what i know
be happier for me
its all i need
halfway out
you know that youre hanging by a thread
its me
why dont you just pull
its hollow
wallet out
my head is getting lighter as it goes nd ill show you that youre cold
take all you need from me
pace as you wait
im trapped under low people
ill never be known
my memorys cloudy of what i know
be happier for me
its all i need
youve been a bed for me
i cant walk but i know that i am healed
youve been a bed for me
i cant walk but i know that i am healed
youve been a bed for me
i cant walk but i know that i am healed
forget yourself nd show me you can be